[Hence why he didn't bother trying to finish that weak-ass counter argument. But now that leaves him awkwardly silent for a moment because he doesn't have any other real excuse to offer that isn't fucking embarrassing to admit in some way. After a moment, he tries--]
Well, I did also agree to do what was expected of me, when we met... but then, well, didn't.
[So there, he's a disappointment for being selfish and causing that clusterfuck to happen because he didn't stick to what was expected of his role as an "angel" here. Not that he even cared about the "angel" part of that, but again, circling back to that whole "list of things Danny has done poorly" thing that he seems rather stuck on here.]
[...Definitely so, but at least he's still more or less conceding the point.]
While that may be the case, you don't have to hold yourself accountable for my actions. In the end, they weren't as a result of anything you did or didn't do.
[The situation was, surely. But his actions and their subsequent outcome were his own doing. That, he thinks, is the point he's trying to make; the fact remains that navigating this is far more difficult than he's used to. Discussion of his own thoughts and feelings regarding things isn't anything he indulges in, nor is he in the practice if doing so; far easier to focus on the thoughts and actions of others.]
[Danny feels like that was still his fault in some way, but--like the man said, Gray isn't a liar. It's one of the only reasons even Zack trusted him to some degree.]
... Okay.
[He breathes out a sigh, and it seems he's able to drop the argument now in regards to his guilt or lack there of on certain matters.]
Okay.
[He finds himself saying again rather unnecessarily, as if it'll somehow make it stick that he is in fact okay with it now.]
Regardless... it, ah... was a relief to hear that. And having your help in general. I don't think I could have asked anyone else for this.
[Back to the original point he had been trying to make before devolving into talking about his failures, he's trying to say that it made him happy that you said any of that while taking care of his injury earlier, let alone showing up to do so.]
[Good, that's great to hear, actually. Danny leans back against the couch a little, a thought coming to mind of something else that's... veering dangerously into feelings territory, but his mouth moves before he can stop himself.]
In that case... after you bring the medication over from the kitchen, there's one more thing I'd like to ask you to do.
[Right, that's a thing that should probably be done, isn't it, let him go do that if we're done talking about emotions and he can do this without looking like he's just trying to fucking bail.
However, since he does not lie and is not, in fact, trying to fucking bail, he will at least hear whatever it is Danny's trying to ask him to do once that's taken care of.]
[After Gray comes back from the kitchen with the medication, and Danny has thrown back a few pills here, he sort of hesitates in regards to this last thing he wants to ask for because it might be construed as a weird thing to ask for, but he forces himself to ask it anyway.]
Can you... stay for a little while longer? Or, ah... just at least until I fall asleep.
[At least there's less of a danger to him doing so now that the wound has been taken care of, for now, and he's got iv fluids helping to replenish some of the prior blood loss.
There isn't really a place for Gray to sit except for the couch though, so there's also the implication that he kind of wants to go back to leaning against Gray for a few minutes here, but Danny is quick to add--]
It's fine if you can't, though. I don't want to keep you from anything important.
It...probably isn't as odd a request as it strikes him; he isn't sure what about it hits him strangely, but it takes him a moment to respond.]
You aren't keeping me from anything.
[He's aware that the couch is pretty much the only option, and the implication isn't lost on him; that, however, he finds he doesn't mind now that the unexpected nature of the request itself has been processed and dealt with.
[Danny had been mildly bracing himself for a rejection to that request, already planning what to say in mind, so when Gray does agree to sit down and proceeds to do so, he can't help but be a little surprised. Maybe it shouldn't be a shock given that asking someone for company is considered easier for most than asking someone to remove a bullet from your arm but hey... this is Gray and Danny we are talking about here.
So Danny nods to that, and maybe it is a bit selfish of him, but he does proceed to lean against Gray here once the other man appears to have found a comfortable spot to sit with him. It's not quite the same fix as skin-to-skin contact can be with moon-lacing, that would most likely require holding Gray's hand or something while doing this, but Danny isn't trying to go that far yet. For the moment, he seems satisfied enough just with doing this.]
[He shifts a bit when Danny leans up against him; not as though trying to discourage him or get him to move elsewhere, as that would both be counterproductive and not nearly as intended, but rather just...settling. As true though it may be that it's easier for most to ask for company, Gray has never really been the sort to let himself just spend time with others - there's always a purpose to it, always a point, and that point is never "because we wanted to" or "because we felt like it." Simply being comfortable with another person, wanting to spend time with them because it's just...what they're doing now, it isn't something he's accustomed to; just the same, it isn't something he's in direct opposition to, either, otherwise he wouldn't be here.
This is weird, to put it in far blunter and more inelegant terms, but it's a good kind of weird, maybe. As long as Danny is content with it, he finds that he can be likewise; it's not something to be thought about or quantified in any sort of measure, not for now. It's possible that he'll try to sort through it later, when he's on his own again and isn't currently trying to become accustomed with the way this is going to go as it's happening; it's more likely that he'll consider long enough to decide that it's something to be disregarded until such a time that it becomes impossible to continue doing so, and then he'll have to sort through why that is, and that's likely to be...messy, in a way he doesn't particularly care for.
But for now he hadn't lied to him, because he doesn't deal in untruths - he's meant everything he's said, and that includes the notion that Danny hasn't done anything to displease or disappoint him in needing any of this, and it likewise includes the notion that he'll be here for as long as Danny pleases, at least for the time being.]
[At some point, Danny's phone (still with dried blood on it, whoops) suddenly vibrates on the table indicating that someone is trying to text him, but Danny doesn't react to it at all.
Which, aside from the way he's started breathing in the last few minutes, is one of two signs that Danny appears to have fallen asleep here from where he's leaning up against Gray's side. Like he said before, Gray can take this opportunity to leave if he wants to, or really even do whatever else he wants while in Danny's apartment.
But at least he doesn't sound like he's too much pain at the moment. Guess having Gray around actually did help in having him be able to sleep a little easier.]
[Gray isn't entirely well-versed with medical things - again, this entire circumstance has been a learning experience - but he does know a few things; sleep after major trauma can be a good thing but it can also be the body deciding that it's a lovely time for a coma, and waking someone up every couple of hours is probably likewise a good thing, just to make sure they're responsive.
At least, that's how it works for concussions; he imagines it's much the same for blood loss. Things that can cause the body to go into shock and all that.
So he'll let Danny sleep for a while; as little as he generally cares about invasion of one's living space, he actually holds little interest in going through the apartment while Danny is asleep. Even so, it isn't as though he wasn't brought up knowing how to pass time in silence; at times like this you reflect, and you pray to a god that doesn't exist, and it's been a while since he's done any of that in any sort of earnest - there's still no sincerity behind any prayers he may happen to give, no expectation that anything he offers will be heard, but it's something that's familiar and the words come to mind easily, so for the time being that's what he does. For the world, that it might know purity and faith in god, and that the nonbelievers may be purged in unending fire; for the well-being of all his servants, and the deaths of those who would seek to lead them astray. There's a brief intercession for Danny; there's a somewhat longer one for the means and the ability to destroy the cause of whatever happened to him.
He'll wake Danny up eventually, however, just to see how well he's capable of doing that; he's not trying to straight-up jostle him or anything, but he'll shake him a bit, minding the injury as he does so.]
[Danny, at first, doesn't react to his name being called, but after the shaking he does make a groaning noise.]
--Hmm?
[Normally, being a paranoid person, being awoken by means other than naturally can put him on edge, and sure enough, he quickly brings a hand up to grasp Gray's arm before he winces from the pain of his injury at the sudden movement. It does however cause him to blink a bit more back to awareness and remembers--right, Gray. He had been sitting next to him, so it makes sense for him to be the one waking us up. While he doesn't remove his hand yet, he seems to relax about as much as he can.]
[Danny gives a short nod, leaning his head against the back of the couch as he tries to focus for a moment.]
While I was asleep, did you... notice anything odd? Like how I was breathing, or any twitching...?
[He can use this information to gauge whether or not it's okay to sleep again or if he should stay awake. He can't feel any sign of his wound having reopened from the movement of waking up, so he's pretty sure that can be left alone at the moment.
As for the answer to his question, he probably was breathing uneasily from pain, but nothing indicating that he couldn't breathe while unconscious at least.]
No... no, you don't have to leave unless you want to.
[In fact he's actually glad you stayed instead of leaving while he was asleep, but... what the fuck is admitting an emotion like that without making it sound pathetic or embarrassing.]
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divinesight) wrote2020-02-21 08:46 pm
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[Hence why he didn't bother trying to finish that weak-ass counter argument. But now that leaves him awkwardly silent for a moment because he doesn't have any other real excuse to offer that isn't fucking embarrassing to admit in some way. After a moment, he tries--]
Well, I did also agree to do what was expected of me, when we met... but then, well, didn't.
[So there, he's a disappointment for being selfish and causing that clusterfuck to happen because he didn't stick to what was expected of his role as an "angel" here. Not that he even cared about the "angel" part of that, but again, circling back to that whole "list of things Danny has done poorly" thing that he seems rather stuck on here.]
no subject
[...Definitely so, but at least he's still more or less conceding the point.]
While that may be the case, you don't have to hold yourself accountable for my actions. In the end, they weren't as a result of anything you did or didn't do.
[The situation was, surely. But his actions and their subsequent outcome were his own doing. That, he thinks, is the point he's trying to make; the fact remains that navigating this is far more difficult than he's used to. Discussion of his own thoughts and feelings regarding things isn't anything he indulges in, nor is he in the practice if doing so; far easier to focus on the thoughts and actions of others.]
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... Okay.
[He breathes out a sigh, and it seems he's able to drop the argument now in regards to his guilt or lack there of on certain matters.]
Okay.
[He finds himself saying again rather unnecessarily, as if it'll somehow make it stick that he is in fact okay with it now.]
Regardless... it, ah... was a relief to hear that. And having your help in general. I don't think I could have asked anyone else for this.
[Back to the original point he had been trying to make before devolving into talking about his failures, he's trying to say that it made him happy that you said any of that while taking care of his injury earlier, let alone showing up to do so.]
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Of course, Danny. You don't need to have any hesitation in asking; I'll at least hear anything you see fit to request.
[And chances are that he'll do more than that; it's more or less the way of things.]
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In that case... after you bring the medication over from the kitchen, there's one more thing I'd like to ask you to do.
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[Right, that's a thing that should probably be done, isn't it, let him go do that if we're done talking about emotions and he can do this without looking like he's just trying to fucking bail.
However, since he does not lie and is not, in fact, trying to fucking bail, he will at least hear whatever it is Danny's trying to ask him to do once that's taken care of.]
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Can you... stay for a little while longer? Or, ah... just at least until I fall asleep.
[At least there's less of a danger to him doing so now that the wound has been taken care of, for now, and he's got iv fluids helping to replenish some of the prior blood loss.
There isn't really a place for Gray to sit except for the couch though, so there's also the implication that he kind of wants to go back to leaning against Gray for a few minutes here, but Danny is quick to add--]
It's fine if you can't, though. I don't want to keep you from anything important.
no subject
It...probably isn't as odd a request as it strikes him; he isn't sure what about it hits him strangely, but it takes him a moment to respond.]
You aren't keeping me from anything.
[He's aware that the couch is pretty much the only option, and the implication isn't lost on him; that, however, he finds he doesn't mind now that the unexpected nature of the request itself has been processed and dealt with.
He'll come sit, all right.]
As long as you'd like.
no subject
So Danny nods to that, and maybe it is a bit selfish of him, but he does proceed to lean against Gray here once the other man appears to have found a comfortable spot to sit with him. It's not quite the same fix as skin-to-skin contact can be with moon-lacing, that would most likely require holding Gray's hand or something while doing this, but Danny isn't trying to go that far yet. For the moment, he seems satisfied enough just with doing this.]
no subject
This is weird, to put it in far blunter and more inelegant terms, but it's a good kind of weird, maybe. As long as Danny is content with it, he finds that he can be likewise; it's not something to be thought about or quantified in any sort of measure, not for now. It's possible that he'll try to sort through it later, when he's on his own again and isn't currently trying to become accustomed with the way this is going to go as it's happening; it's more likely that he'll consider long enough to decide that it's something to be disregarded until such a time that it becomes impossible to continue doing so, and then he'll have to sort through why that is, and that's likely to be...messy, in a way he doesn't particularly care for.
But for now he hadn't lied to him, because he doesn't deal in untruths - he's meant everything he's said, and that includes the notion that Danny hasn't done anything to displease or disappoint him in needing any of this, and it likewise includes the notion that he'll be here for as long as Danny pleases, at least for the time being.]
no subject
Which, aside from the way he's started breathing in the last few minutes, is one of two signs that Danny appears to have fallen asleep here from where he's leaning up against Gray's side. Like he said before, Gray can take this opportunity to leave if he wants to, or really even do whatever else he wants while in Danny's apartment.
But at least he doesn't sound like he's too much pain at the moment. Guess having Gray around actually did help in having him be able to sleep a little easier.]
no subject
At least, that's how it works for concussions; he imagines it's much the same for blood loss. Things that can cause the body to go into shock and all that.
So he'll let Danny sleep for a while; as little as he generally cares about invasion of one's living space, he actually holds little interest in going through the apartment while Danny is asleep. Even so, it isn't as though he wasn't brought up knowing how to pass time in silence; at times like this you reflect, and you pray to a god that doesn't exist, and it's been a while since he's done any of that in any sort of earnest - there's still no sincerity behind any prayers he may happen to give, no expectation that anything he offers will be heard, but it's something that's familiar and the words come to mind easily, so for the time being that's what he does. For the world, that it might know purity and faith in god, and that the nonbelievers may be purged in unending fire; for the well-being of all his servants, and the deaths of those who would seek to lead them astray. There's a brief intercession for Danny; there's a somewhat longer one for the means and the ability to destroy the cause of whatever happened to him.
He'll wake Danny up eventually, however, just to see how well he's capable of doing that; he's not trying to straight-up jostle him or anything, but he'll shake him a bit, minding the injury as he does so.]
Danny.
no subject
--Hmm?
[Normally, being a paranoid person, being awoken by means other than naturally can put him on edge, and sure enough, he quickly brings a hand up to grasp Gray's arm before he winces from the pain of his injury at the sudden movement. It does however cause him to blink a bit more back to awareness and remembers--right, Gray. He had been sitting next to him, so it makes sense for him to be the one waking us up. While he doesn't remove his hand yet, he seems to relax about as much as he can.]
What... is it? Did something happen?
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No, it's fine. I found it prudent to make sure you were still responsive; that's all.
[So at least he wanted to verify you weren't going to up and die on him.]
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[Danny gives a short nod, leaning his head against the back of the couch as he tries to focus for a moment.]
While I was asleep, did you... notice anything odd? Like how I was breathing, or any twitching...?
[He can use this information to gauge whether or not it's okay to sleep again or if he should stay awake. He can't feel any sign of his wound having reopened from the movement of waking up, so he's pretty sure that can be left alone at the moment.
As for the answer to his question, he probably was breathing uneasily from pain, but nothing indicating that he couldn't breathe while unconscious at least.]
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[So there's that.
He's quiet for a moment before proceeding; considering, really.]
Would you prefer it if I left?
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[In fact he's actually glad you stayed instead of leaving while he was asleep, but... what the fuck is admitting an emotion like that without making it sound pathetic or embarrassing.]
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There's nothing immediate for me to attend to. It's fine.